McNuggets of Information

I had an interview with a major investment bank in New York this past week.One of their clients is McDonalds,and they asked me if i knew how many there were in the United States.Thanks to an article i read, The Battle of Hamburger Hill i was right on the mark with 12,500 locations.They could hardly believe it and were really impressed.The cost of a McDonalds franchese todoy is though the roof and unless your already made of money you might as well forget it.Resently i came across a fast food franchese that you could get for as little as $5,000 now that sounds more like but there are certain requirements and the waiting list is a mile long i can't win for tring,Im always comming across McNuggets of Information but dont seem to be able to do anything with it .

Kenya Safari

This past yaer i went on safari in Kenya.It was an awesome vacation,to make sure we weren't killed by large wild beasts,four Samburu warriors accompanied us on our two-week trip.I brought a few magazines alone to help comfort me on those long nights andas you can amagine my new Kenya friends were more than taken with the photos of the beautyful women featured in the magazine.Pretty cool,you know a little western influence never hurt anyone---well at least not this kind anyway.

Aphrodite

When it comes to Aphrodite the rules go out the window,the goddess of beauty has so many faces you practically have to put out a monthly blog just to keep up with her.To see what kind of jewerly this beautyful goddess wheres click here.

Girls on Film

Hollywood's pecking order is brutal.No matter how many sycophants you have in your posse,you're never that far from nobody status.Feel free to strut around any L.A. restaurant as if you own the place.But if some big movie star wants your table,prepare to get hustled out the back and tossed into the dumpster.When it comes to girls on film expect it to happen twice as fast.

HOW TO

Get drunk in prison,massage a woman,get your band signed,get comped in Vegas,fell a tree,and build an origami boulder.Life is tough when it comes to the how to list.

Yakyakyakophobia

I was talking to an old friend of mind yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before for the last 30 plus years he very rarely misses a day and rings my phone 3,4,sometimes 5 or more times a day its as if he needs someone to hold his hand i know he's not playing with a full deck of cards but this is driving me crazy.He does'nt know how to take no or stopping calling me so much for a responce he babbles on and on about nothing worth listen to.I beleave what he has is called yakyakyakophibia or better know as running of the mouth.He latched on to me just after high school and i have'nt been able to shake him loose,and its not for a lack of tring.Any ideas out there?

Yosemite

I'm planning a camping trip to Yosemite Park this summer i plan to be gone for about a week or so and am looking for a female companion who has the free time to take the trip with me,its the first time i will be going there so i'm really excited about it. I have'nt worked out all the details yet but will keep you posted.

Remote Freak

Im not a remote freak,i only suffer from acute loathing of the Lifetime network and about a dozen other cable channels,this condition has resulted in simi-permanent fear of marital condition and advanced Oprahphobia.If inadvertent exposure to offending programming occurs,i schedule an emergency Girls Gone Wild marathon with at least three other remote freaks by my side.

Im A Big Fat Hog

My symptoms are steadily increasing diffculty in securing one's trousers without an elaborate pulley system and three roadies.In extreme cases i begin smelling like a burger to those around me.The only treatment i've found is to drink plenty of fluids preferably beer.Im really not a big fat hog,i suffer from lardophilia.

Eyes Wide Open

Im stressed,i can't sleep,for the rest of my life.One morning i woke up and stayed up.One wide-awake night became two,two became six.Soonmy blood pressure and pulse elevated from the lack of sleep.I began overheating due to the spikes in pressure,even in chilly rooms,i'd find myself dripping sweat.Months passed,my eyes began tearing and would'nt stop.I was lucky to dose an hour at night.I lost control of my muscles,and walking became impossible,as did coherent speech.A year later i could no longer breathe on my own.I was on a aspirator,suffering dementia,and finally bedridden.Then one day with my eyes wide open i snapped out of it and was completely recovered.

You're Not A Pervert

If you have Acute Mammomania,the symtomsare uncontrollable im pulse to psychotically lock eyes on any rack that bounces back your radar.Sufferers risk prosecution and drinks in the face.The treatment is blindfolds or bodyguards.If these episodes are allowed to continue without treatment ,they can often lead to involuntary rapid testicle compression and a sock in the jaw for good measure,so remember your not a pervert.

Dangerous Minds

More people relate to Joe Millionaire than Joe Mon tana.Baretta's in the big house.And your prozac script is running out.Seems like the world's gone crazy.Well,here are the eight more things to worry about .The following severe mental disorders don't just drive you nuts;they make your every moment a living nightmare.These brain-shredding diseases make you want to--or have to--claw out yourown eyes or hump things in body bags.Thats why i use Givenchy its very irresistible.For all you Dangerous Minds out there who want to smell your best click here.

Davidoff-Cool Water

We pretended not to notice their anti-American rabble-rousing.We didn't interfere when they committed one cultural atrocity after another. We turned the other check as they built up weapons of mass destruction. The country that hones her nukes by destroying Pacific islands.the nation that stuffs our ports with rancid cheese but rallies to keep American movies out of her precious cinema.Who unties France from the tree and helps her find her panties every time the Germans are done with her?Davidoff??with Cool Water perhaps we really don't know but for more on Davidoff click here.

Shania Twain

Country music has a long,proud history of achingly beautiful female voices:Connie Francis,Tanya Tucker,Loretta Lynn,John Denver...the list goes on and on.But those beautiful voices come in all kinds of containers,from coal miners daughters to mother-daughter tag teams to freakishly busty theme-park owners.Every once in a blue moon, however, the songbird voice emerges from a true drop-dead gorgeous beauty.Which brings us to the reigning queen of country,Shania Twain the jewelry that this drop-dead gorgeous beauty where is second to none.To see a wide varity of jewelry click here.

Giuliana DePandi

It takes more than a dazzling smile and a DNA link to Joan Rivers to make it as an E! news personality.Just ask Giuliana DePandi,who's been training for desk duty almost since birth.As a little girl she learned english by watching the news after her family moved here from Italy.The jewelry she must where is as dazzling as she is to see some dazzling jewelry click here.